will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
