Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i now understand why vodka
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
