nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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