I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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