Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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