what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
