Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sarcasm needs its own font
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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