Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
