Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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