Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
