We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
