So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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