shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
