I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
