Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
