They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
