Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
