Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
