I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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