Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
