theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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