O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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