I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
