He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
