she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i drank out of a bidet.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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