i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
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