There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
