I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
