Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's Friday. Sex?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
