My nipple is on Facebook.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did i walk over a car last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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