So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
