Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
