i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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