What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
