do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
