porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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