My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
