why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
