HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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