Whod you bang
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
