Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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