I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
why is half of my head shaved?
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