it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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