the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
