lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
