AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
