u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
