They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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