i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
