Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
