How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize