Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
