I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
