ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
