Nicole vs. Life
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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